collecting the chaos

before you read this post, put this song on. because that's what i'm listening to and i'm just trying to get close to you, that's why. oh, and put on a chartreuse scarf if you have one, too. you don't? yeah, you're right, it would be kind of gay if you had one. no, it's not gay if i have one, because i had it first. i'm not gay. i had it first. i'm NOT. stop it!!!! MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!

the black ghosts - repetition kills you[it's zshare, so rmbr 2 take the 'dumb test' lols]

anyway, here's the gimmick for today. i'm leaving brooklyn sometime in the next two to four days (nevermind that everyone else bailed early... I HOPE CANDYLAND, PHILLY, WESLEYAN, AND MANHATTAN ARE FUN (respectively), GUYZ), and i decided to keep a running tally of our expenses from the past month. is the song playing yet? okay?? cool!! yeah!!!

1. cigarettes (subcategories: american spirits, camels, nat mints, parliaments, 27s, those fucking rollies someone left)

american spiritz: one carton, two packs (twelve packs)

camels: one carton, six packs (sixteen packs)

nat mints: two packs

parliaments: one pack

twenty sevens: four packs.

rollies: someone left a packet and we rolled ten before vomming.

SUBTOTAL: 36 packs

BUM TAX:  -1 packs

BUM TIP: +2 packs

TOTAL: 37 packs (roughly 740 cigarettes)

2. paper products (subcategories: paper towels, toilet paper, post-it notes, napkins, tissues)

paper towels: six rolls

toilet paper: four rolls (ew)

post-it notes: one pad, at work.

napkins: none. foul.

tissues: three boxes

used for nose purposes: one box.

used for 'other' purposes: two boxes.

3. foods (subcategories: eating out, eating in, molly stein rampage)

eating out: blue ribbon, indian food, thai food.

payed for by tony weiss: 3/4

payed for by mrs decker: 1/4

eating in: pancakespancakespancakes

molly stein rampage:  the rest of the chocolate chips, the water crackers, apples and honey, probably melissa's zipper tights.

4. steve aoki (subcategories: break-ins, times we saw him following us on the street, dance parties)

break-ins: this morning i woke up and he was rubbing raw pancake batter on his nipples.

times we saw him following us on the street: i can't tally this because he is probably hiding behind the CD shelves and i bet i will see him on the subway home, too.

dance parties: with more than forty people: one. with me and melissa dancing alone: fourty.

fuck this actually, i'm bored, and i'm still upset about you calling me gay. NO, that was NOT okay!!!!! 

[categories unmention'd: asians in the apartment, alcohol (subcategories: bought, stolen), amphetamines, bro neighbors, fraternities, roof trips, flights of stairs conquered, dogs (muffins, laila).]

basically what i'm saying is that each and every one of you owes me $100 to cover expenses.

i accept cash, check, yarn, and hamsters (fat ones only, plz.)