On my way to work this morning, I saw several things that bothered me. Because I am a woman, and therefore like to complain and blame things on my vagina, I will tell you what I mother-fucking saw.
First, I saw somebody sitting on a sparkly-purple inflated bouncy ball, the kind lesbians use to do yoga, in the subway. They looked totally dumbstupid. Once their "A Train" arrived (which I can only assume stands for 'Abomination Tosocietyrain), they swiftly deflated the joyous little bouncer, and left its flaccid carcass to rot in the station. Because I take the "F Train", and am an upstanding member of non-butt-licking society, I examined the saddened little thing. And by examined, I mean I pushed it into the subway before the doors shut. "Shows that fucker right!" I exclaimed, before a homeless man pushed me into a pole and I ran away, giggling and flailing my arms wildly.
Next, I decided to purchase some coffee, smoke a cigarette, and poop. The latter is contingent on the first two, you understand. Anyway, after shelling out a slightly absurd $1.50 for a small black coffee (that's 60 gil, if you're playing Final Fantasy in another window or something), I watched a distressed-looking asian man in his mid-to-late-forties purchase a stale bagel with cream cheese and a large coffee (60% milk and two packets of splenda.) The disturbing part isn't that there were asians roaming freely in this coffee shop (although I did wonder how he escaped the cage), but that his meal cost a meager $2.25. What the fuckshit, man?! I bought about 1/4 of the foodrink he did, and payed enough for 2/3 of his mealiething. I should've fucking got half of that bagel, and one packet of splenda. Fortunately, I don't eat because eating shows weakness, so I just stole seven packets of splenda to fuck them over and left them in the handicap stall of the bathroom.
The last thing I saw wasn't really anything I saw, so much as it was the only email I recieved this morning. Recieving emails makes me happy. It makes me feel like I am "a part of this world." One time I saw a music video for a song by Gonzales, who doesn't look very Mexican and so I like him still, and it has people working and recieving emails and drinking orange things. You can watch it here, but watch out because it shows women in the workplace!!! Anyway, the email basically sucked and was from a robotperson working at ebay, so I cried a little and then searched for "happy workers" on images.google.yahoospot.com, and found this. It made me feel better because I am young and indestructable.
See if you can tell where it goes from "annoying" to "insulting my intelligence." Give up? Fuck you, really??
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